Kensi & Deeks

They were only half way through the week, but it felt like they had worked a week. The half filled pitcher of warm beer lay forgotten between Kensi and Deeks. They had been at their favorite pub for over an hour discussing everything from jobs to sports. Their conversation had finally waned and they sat across from each other, avoiding eye contact, and searching for more neutral conversation. A pall of uncomfortable silence enveloped them.
It had been this way for many months ever since Deeks had accidently acknowledged that there was a ‘thing’ during a stakeout. Kensi, shocked, had questioned it then, but Deeks had been unable to sidestep the subject and suggested that they discuss it over drinks. Prior to that Deeks had been denying that there even was a ‘thing.’ Now after many opportunities the time, so it seemed, had finally come. It was during quiet times like this, away from work, that the subject came close to the surface. Both of them unable or too afraid to breach the subject. Now, many opportunities later, there still had been no admission from either of them nor any further discussion about this undefinable ‘thing’ that had been steadily growing in their relationship.
In the past, they had used this awkward pause in their conversation to end their visit and head off to their respective homes each wondering when they would be brave enough to finally breach the subject of the ‘thing’.
Kensi decided to breach the subject now. She took a slow, deep breath and looked out at the people in the pub. She brought her attention back to Deeks and leaned over the table. Deeks looked from his empty beer glass to Kensi. Her eyes intense, her expression serious. “So, what about this ‘thing?’” There it was. It was no longer hidden or unspoken it was out there. Out there to address, not said in passing, not said accidently, but said clearly and deliberately.
Deeks, taken completely off guard, “what are you talking about?”
“Deeks, don’t. You know exactly what I’m talking about.”
Deeks shrugged, “What about it?” He looked away, clearly uncomfortable, trying to focus on something other than Kensi or the subject.
“Look at me.” She waited patiently hoping that he would turn back to her instead of mumbling an excuse and got out of their as fast as he could. When he finally looked at her she said, “We need to talk about this. We need to confront it or let it go. I’m willing to say I don’t want to let it go . . . . at least not yet.”
Kensi took his hand from across the table. “I think we should talk about it. Get it out in the open. I need to know where I stand. I don’t want to keep wondering. I care a lot about you. You’re my partner and my friend. A good friend, someone I can count on.”
He was surprised. He was shocked that she could be so open, so honest. She was usually so guarded when it came to her feelings her emotions. He was, too. He had always kept to himself. Preferring to cope with everyday obstacles with his comedic side. He could always come up with a quick joke or comment. It was easier that way. He had a serious side, but he always went for the lighter stuff first rather than the heavier stuff. Being too serious could take him down a road he didn’t want to travel. Memories he’s rather forget. He’d had enough of serious during his childhood and teens. He liked it light, but maybe it was time to face this ‘thing’, maybe it was time to get serious. It wouldn’t be easy, but now that Kensi had opened the line of communication he didn’t want to shut it down. They’d known each other for a while. He trusted her with his life, maybe it was time he trusted her with his feelings. He decided he would be honest. “Kensi, I’m afraid.”
“Me, too.”
“What we have is awesome. I don’t want to lose it.”
“Neither do I.”
“Yeah, but Kensi, wonder if this ‘thing’ doesn’t work out?”
She let the question hang in the air for a few seconds. “You’re right, neither one of us has a good track record when it comes to commitment.”
“Hey, speak for yourself.”
“Look Deeks you never, ever talk about your girl friends so it means one of two things. Either you don’t have one or you have many. Either way, that doesn’t scream commitment.”
Kensi let go of his hand and pulled back.“If it doesn’t work out, we just go back to what we have now.”
“Do you really think we could do that? Wouldn’t our partnership suffer from the fall out of this ‘thing’? I don’t think I want to risk it. What we have now is great.”
“You’re right, what we have now is great, but I want to take the chance. I don’t want life to pass me by just because I’m afraid.”
Deeks looked at her with admiration. “Okay, but we have to start off slow. We can start by going out. See if we like each other outside of work.”
Kensi smiled, “I agree with that. We’ll take it slow. —– So now what?”
“Well, how about we do something this Saturday? We can go biking or head out to Malibu Creek State Park for some rock climbing.”
“I’d rather go rock climbing if you don’t mind. I’ve never been out to the state park. Do you want me to pick you up? Or we can meet somewhere.”
“No, no, I’ll pick you up. Say about 9?”
“That works for me.”

Deeks rolls out of bed Saturday morning and looks at the clock, 8:30. “Holy crap, I thought I reset the alarm last night!” He quickly showered, dressed, grabbed a granola bar, threw a few necessities into his backpack and ran out the door. He didn’t want to be late.
Kensi looks at her watch, “it’s 9:10, where is Deeks?” They hadn’t talked about this outing the rest of the week at work and they certainly had told anyone there. She hoped he hadn’t forgotten. That would be terrible. That would certainly indicate where his heart was. The thought of calling him escaped her mind as soon as she thinks it. “Noooo . . . that would not be a good idea,” she says out loud. She had been up for hours anxious about this first date, wanting to make sure she looked the part not too overdressed or underdressed. Date? That was strange to say. Knowing him he had probably overslept. She went over her checklist one more time: water, change of clothes, bathing suit (just in case), snacks. Just then there’s a knock at the door.
Kensi opened the door and found Deeks looking as though he has just gotten out of bed. Deeks looks her up and down and thinks that he has never seen Kensi looking so nervous. Even when they are taking gunfire or fighting with a bad guy has he ever seen Kensi looking this afraid. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, why?”
“It’s just you look . . . . never mind. Sorry I’m late, I um . . . got hung up.” He hadn’t wanted to tell her that he had overslept. That would make him appear irresponsible or worse yet not nervous about this first date. Date? That was strange to say.
“That’s okay, I was just going over my checklist one last time to make sure I have everything. Do you want some coffee before we head out?”
“No thanks, if it’s okay with you we can grab a coffee on the way to the Park.”
“Sounds good.”

Driving back to Kensi’s apartment the car was quiet. Awkward once again. Just before pulling up to Kensi’s place Deeks said, “I had a great time Kensi, we’ll have to do it again.”
“I’d like that.” A little hesitant, unsure, “Do you want to come up, we can order a pizza and I have some beer in the frig.”
Deeks, unsure himself, “Sounds good, but right now all I want is a shower. Why don’t I come back in about an hour?”
“Alright, that will give me a chance to clean up, too.”
He stopped the car and waited for Kensi to get out. Before she did she leaned over, looked Deeks right in the eyes and gave him a soft kiss on the lips. She smiled and whispered, “See you in an hour.”

Deeks stood in the shower letting the warm water rain down over his head and onto his sore muscles debating on whether or not to take this ‘thing’ with Kensi to the next level if there was another level. He was a little concerned about crossing the line into professional misconduct. As much as he hated to bring it up to Kensi he thought he should. The kiss that she gave him when he dropped her off certainly suggested that she was willing to take this ‘thing’ a little further. He just wasn’t sure what he wanted. Yes, he was attracted to her, he’d been attracted to her from the first time they met at the MMA gym. Their relationship over the last two years had become comfortable and their flirting had been fun to say the least. This was different than his past relationships, this time he knew this woman as a friend. Hell, they had learned to trust each other, count on each other. None of his other relationships had started out like this. Maybe that’s why they had always failed. But what if this relationship failed, too? Would they be able to continue to work together, trust each other, depend on each other? Was it worth the risk? He was still unsure. He shook his head to rid his brain of all the doubts he was having, shut the water off, and proceeded to dry off and get dressed. I’m probably over thinking this he said to himself, in any case, I need to respect the pace this ‘thing’ is taking and take it slow.

Kensi was smiling, she was overjoyed. She couldn’t stop from smiling. She had actually kissed him, wanted to kiss him, intentionally kissed him. It wasn’t a cover kiss this time like at Polina and Brett’s, it was a real planned kiss. And he had kissed her back. It wasn’t some deep, slow, wet kiss, but it was a start. She’d had a great time with Deeks . . . Marty. She wondered, could she ever call him Marty? Stop she told herself. She was getting way too far ahead of herself. Don’t rush, don’t push she told herself. That’s what she always did. She needed to not need so much. Take it a day at a time, even a moment at a time. Today had been great, she had told him that and he had agreed. Was he lying? No, no, why would he lie? And the fact that he was coming back for dinner said something. Didn’t it? Yes, it said that he had a great time and he liked your company so he’s coming back to be with you more. Kensi’s smile faded . . . . maybe he’s coming back to tell her he didn’t think this was a good idea. That would be horrible especially after having such a great day. She allowed a darker cloud to drift into her mind the dark cloud of failure: failure to hold on to a relationship, failure to trust. Stop thinking she told herself and proceeded to get ready for an evening she predicted would be the continuation of a great day. Whatever I do I need to respect the pace this ‘thing’ is taking and take it slow.

Kensi opened the door just seconds after his first knock. Now, both of them, looking refreshed and relaxed, they could begin the second part of their day together. “Hey, you came back.”
“Of course I came back, why wouldn’t I?”
“Well, I thought I may have scared you off with that kiss.”
“As you can see you didn’t scare me off.”
“I’m glad. You want to order the pizza? Cheese and pepperoni works for me. Here’s the number”
“Okay.” Deeks took the number and called in the order. Kensi meanwhile went into the kitchen and brought out two beers.
“They said they’ll deliver, 30 minutes.”
“You want to watch TV or how about some music?”
“Do you have something other than techno music?” Deeks chuckled.
“I do.”
“Then music would be nice.”
They sat at opposite ends of the couch and this time enjoying the quiet moment between them and the soft music playing in the background. Stretching out his arms Deeks finally broke the silence, “That was a bit of a workout today, huh?”.
“It was good. I’ve never been out to Malibu State Park. Do you go there often?”
“There are 4 different areas I go to if I want to rock climb, I go to a different one each time. Today, it just happened to be Malibu.”
The awkward silence appeared again. It always seemed to raise its ugly head whenever one or the other could feel that the ‘thing’ was going to be brought up. They always had plenty of things to talk about when they were at work or even today at the Park? But get a quiet moment, like now, and both of them clammed up. Nothing to talk about, but the silence said everything. They were both still uncomfortable about this damn ‘thing.’
Deeks moved over to Kensi on the couch, put his beer down, and looked at her. She was expecting him to crack some sort of joke or say something dumb, but instead he slowly leaned into her and kissed her softly. He pulled back and looked at her. “I really enjoyed today, do you want to do something again next weekend?”
Kensi was quiet. She put her beer down, took Deeks’ face in her hands and kissed him with a bit more intensity. “I’d like that.”
They kissed again, longer and deeper. They were becoming more and more comfortable with each other with each passing kiss. Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. A familiar knock with a distinctive rhythm. A knock from Kensi’s past. Kensi drew away from Deeks and gazed at him with a look of complete disbelief. She slowly brought her hand up toward Deeks face and slowly glided her finger gently across Deeks’ bottom lip thinking of what could have been. She knows with that knock things will change.
Deeks sensing Kensi’s sudden change in behavior says, “What’s the matter, it’s only the pizza guy.” He starts to get up off the couch to go open the door, “Good thing, too, I’m starving.”
Kensi grabs his hand and pulls him back to the couch. No, Deeks. I’ll get the door. And I want you to know I had a fantastic time today and whatever happens from now on,” she pauses, “I’m sorry.”
Deeks is confused he doesn’t know what has just happened. “What do you mean?”
She knows this is going to be terrible, so many emotions going through her she’s not sure she can even make it to the door. She gets up from the couch and regretfully walks over to the door. Conflicting emotions welling up inside her. “It’s not the pizza guy, Deeks,” she finally says, opening the door, “it’s Jack.”

Please Don’t Go

It had been one hell of a day. A day Marty Deeks thought couldn’t possibly get any worse but four little words had sent him reeling. He felt as if he had been hit in the chest again and he wasn’t sure if he could handle it this time.
The day had started out simple enough but had gone downhill quickly. They had been in the bullpen discussing nothing and everything at the same time when Deeks noticed that Kensi wasn’t chiming in with her two cents worth.
“You okay Kens?” he asked when he didn’t receive her obligatory eye roll after his last innuendo had been lobbed in her direction.
“I’m fine,” she answered stiffly.
He let it go but when Sam and Callen left to go to the gym he got up and walked to her desk.
“Come on Kens, what’s wrong? I’ve made half a dozen comments this morning that should have sent you over the edge and you haven’t glared at me once. Spill it.”
“Deeks. Just drop it. I’m fine.”
“Obviously you’re not. I mean yes, you are clearly fine looking but…”
She looked up and glared at him but made no reply.
“There’s my girl,” he said grinning.
“Don’t call me that,” she said agitated.
“What? I mean you’re my partner who happens to be a girl so it stands to reason that you’re ‘my girl’. Sam and Callen can’t say that about their partners.”
She looked up at him and he could tell something was definitely wrong but he couldn’t quite get a handle on what it might be. He prided himself on being able to read her better than anyone else but this time he was at a loss.
“I’m not your girl. I’m your partner,” she said quietly as she got up and walked out of the bullpen.
He started to follow her but decided against it. Maybe she just needed some space. He would find out what was bugging her before the end of the day even if he had to make her angry to do it. He was the one person who could get Kensi to talk but sometimes he had to resort to extreme measures to do so.
An hour later they were called up for a case. They spent the entire day chasing down leads and interviewing witnesses which left no time to talk about anything but evidence and motives. She had remained distant and he couldn’t help but feel as if she was upset with him for something. He had thought through all of the possible things he might have done but came up with nothing out of the ordinary. Everything had been ‘normal’ as far as he was concerned.
The case finally broke when Eric located the vehicle of the suspect parked at a warehouse near three other cars. They gathered the assault rifles, donned bullet proof vests and headed to the address they had been given.
They were aware that there were several people inside and hoped to resolve the situation peacefully but as soon as they identified themselves, the bullets started flying.
He and Kensi were crouched behind several crates and were doing their best to take out the bad guys without getting their heads blown off.
Callen and Sam had entered from the back and were doing the same. After about fifteen minutes, there were seven guys either dead or wounded and the gunshots had stopped. Deeks heard Sam shout “Clear” from the back of the building as he and Kensi were checking behind nearby stacks to make sure they were clear as well.
As they were about to check out the last stack of crates, they were caught by surprise when an injured man jumped out from behind them and raised his gun, pointing it at Kensi’s head. Deeks didn’t think, he just reacted. He raised his gun and fired and at the same time he leapt in front of Kensi. The gunman went down but so did he.
The force from the shot knocked him backward into Kensi and they both fell on the floor in a heap.
“Deeks! Deeks! Oh my God!” she shouted as he had laid there in the floor not moving. He could hear her but his body seemed to be in a state of limbo. He couldn’t move and couldn’t breathe.
After what seemed like an eternity, he was finally able to get a bit of air into his lungs but his chest was on fire. He opened his eyes to find himself lying in Kensi’s lap with one of her arms wrapped around his shoulders and her other hand was lying softly on his chest.
She was gently rocking him and the look of fear in her eyes when he was finally able to focus on them was unmistakable.
“Hey… Partner,” he managed to choke out in hopes of calming her down.
“What the hell did you think you were doing?” she asked angrily but the look in her eyes was anything but angry.
“I was… I was doing… my job,” he whispered as another sharp pain tore through his upper body. He couldn’t help but wince and she moved her hand to his jaw and began gently brushing his cheek.
If he hadn’t been in so much pain he might have made some sort of inappropriate comment about her wanting him but he didn’t have the breath or the desire at the moment. Despite the pain, he couldn’t help but relish her closeness and the fact that she obviously cared enough to be extremely worried about his well being. He continued to look into her beautiful mismatched eyes and the feelings he had been trying to push to the back of his mind came rushing back at him. All he wanted to do was kiss her and comfort her.
“Getting yourself killed is not your job you idiot!” she cried as a tear slipped down her cheek.
He tried to reach up and wipe it away but when he moved his arm another sharp pain shot through him and he dropped his arm to the floor.
“Deeks!” she cried out.
“I’m okay Kens… the vest… stopped it… I’m… just sore,” he managed to rasp.
Sam and Callen were busy checking bodies and handcuffing the ones who were still alive. Ambulances had been called and sirens could already be heard in the distance.
Kensi continued to hold him and he continued to let her. As the ambulances drew nearer she whispered, “Please don’t ever do that again. I can’t… I can’t lose you Deeks.”
This time when the tears appeared on her cheeks, he forced his arm to move and gently wiped them away with his thumb. “I’m right here Kens. I’m not… going anywhere.”
Callen and Sam were finally able to come over to check on him about the time the ambulances arrived. He wasn’t sure if they had witnessed the moment between him and Kensi or not but he didn’t really care if they had. He needed to reassure her and nothing else mattered.
The paramedics arrived and he was immediately sorry that she had to move away and let him go. They began the painful process of removing his vest and he found himself crying out her name. She was instantly back at his side and had grabbed his hand tightly. As they removed his shirt, he heard her gasp when she saw the massive, already darkening bruise caused by the impact of the bullet.
They checked his vitals and poked and prodded for half an hour. They eventually wrapped his chest and anchored an ice pack over the area then told him to take some pain medication and go home to rest. They also gave him a list of things to watch for and told him to go to the emergency room if any of them were to happen.
Kensi and Sam helped him walk to her car and she drove them back to Ops. She had wanted to take him directly home but he insisted on picking up his car and driving himself home. He wanted her to realize he was going to be okay which meant he couldn’t allow her to pamper him even though he wanted nothing more than for her to stay with him.
They arrived at the Mission and he insisted on walking without help. He sat gingerly in his chair as he quietly gathered his things. He felt Kensi’s eyes on him but was afraid to look at her. His emotions were still raw and there was no way he could hide them from her.
“You want me to pick you up in the morning?” she asked tentatively.
“No. I’m good.”
She sighed and walked over to his desk. “Fine, you call me if you need anything. I can be there… fairly quickly.”
He grinned and teased, “You must have big plans for the evening if you aren’t sure you could get there in like five minutes. It’s not like you live across town.”
She ducked her head and said softly, “Actually… I have a date.”
His eyes shot up to look at her and he felt all the air go out of his lungs as if he had been shot in the chest a second time. “A what?” he said shocked, not believing he had actually heard her say those four offending words.
“A date. You know, that thing you do sometimes with other women,” she said testily.
He was stunned and absolutely speechless. It was his own damn fault. He had been content to leave their ‘thing’ as it was and had never even bothered to talk to her about it. He assumed she hadn’t been dating since he hadn’t and the pain of knowing she was about to go out with another man was more incapacitating than that of the gun shot.
He finally found his voice and said softly, “Good night Kens.” He got up and walked as quickly as he was able to his car. He had to get away. The pain in his chest was nothing compared to the pain in his heart.
______________________________________________________
Now he lay sprawled on his couch sipping his beer as his eyes looked toward his TV. He had no idea what he was watching and the turmoil in his head had long since drowned out the voices on the screen.
‘How could he have been so stupid?’ He should have known she wouldn’t wait around for him forever. He had been so worried about scaring her away by pushing too hard that he had just let her be. Let them be as they had always been. All jokes and banter and very little action. Now he was second guessing whether or not she had ever felt anything toward him other than friendship.
He closed his eyes and tried to recall the look on her face earlier today when she thought he had been really shot. Before he could conjure it up it was replaced by images of her smiling… at some other guy. He quickly opened his eyes and downed the last of his beer. He was thinking about getting up to get another one when he heard a knock on his door.
It was probably his neighbor Mrs. Rhodes bringing Monty home. She had kept him sometimes when he was away on long assignments but since he had been with NCIS, the extended missions had been few and far between. She had missed the little guy and had asked if he could visit from time to time. Deeks usually took him over at least once a week to spend the day with her.
He dragged himself up from the couch and shuffled over to the door. He didn’t even bother to look through the peephole before opening it. The look of shock on his face must have been apparent as he stood gaping at Kensi. She was clad in a simple dark blue sundress with modest heels and seemed embarrassed to be standing at his door.
“Hey,” she said awkwardly.
“What are you doing here Kensi? I thought you had a date,” he said flatly.
“I do, I just… I just wanted to stop by and check on you first.”
“Well I’m fine so don’t let me keep you from…” he started but wasn’t able to finish when she interrupted.
“I need to make sure,” she said as she pushed past him and walked inside his apartment.
He closed the door and turned to face her. “Really Kens, I’m fine.” The pain in his heart escalated as he realized the beautiful woman standing in his living room would never be his. As much as he had come to think of her in that way, the revelation of how untrue it had been was staggering.
She walked to him and reached for the top button of his shirt. “May I?” she asked softly looking into his tired eyes.
He didn’t answer and she took it as a yes. She slowly unbuttoned his shirt and pushed it open to reveal the stretchy bandage they had used to hold the ice pack in place.
His heart was racing and his breath caught in his throat at her nearness and the fact that she was basically undressing him.
She placed her hand over the bulge of the pack and noticed that it was warm. “This isn’t helping any more Deeks. You need a fresh one.” She took his hand and gently pulled him to the couch then directed him to sit down.
He did so willingly and watched as she went to his freezer and pulled out a spare ice pack. She returned and dropped to her knees in front of him. She gently pushed his shirt off his shoulders then began to gently unwrap the bandage.
His eyes never left her face as she worked to removed the pack. She couldn’t help the gasp that escaped when she finally unwound the last bit of the material. She reached up and gently placed her hand over the dark purple and black area then looked up at him.
“Why did you do that?” she whispered.
He closed his eyes and contemplated his answer. The warmth of her hand on his bare skin was muddling his brain. If he told her the truth she would probably get angry and storm out. If he lied she would see right through it and still be angry. He finally decided he had already lost the battle so whatever he told her would ultimately be pointless.
“I told you, I was doing my job,” he finally answered as he opened his eyes and looked into her troubled ones.
“Don’t! Just don’t!” she said raising her voice slightly. “No one told you to take a bullet for me and they certainly didn’t tell you it was part of your job description!”
He sighed and reached up to place his hand on top of hers on his chest. “My job is to have your back and that’s what I was doing today. No one told me I had to do that. Hell, I didn’t even think about whether or not I should do it. I just did it and I would do it again in a heartbeat.”
She looked at both of their hands placed over his heart and seemed to struggle to find her voice. She looked back up at him and said softly, “You could have died.”
Again he blurted out what was on his mind before he thought it through, “I would die for you Kens.”
The look in her eyes was one of confusion but also of shock and something else he couldn’t quite place. They continued to stare into each other’s eyes until she finally looked away. He wanted to pull her into his arms and kiss her senseless but reality came crashing down on him as he remembered she was on her way to meet her date.
He reluctantly dropped his hand to his lap and tore his eyes away from her face. He was torturing himself he knew but he deserved it. He had let her go and he deserved to be miserable. Somehow he knew he would never get over it. He was in love with her and he picked a hell of a time to finally admit it to himself. He was tired of pretending. Tired of pretending he didn’t feel the way he did for his partner and tired of pretending it would ever go away.
She grimaced as she removed her hand from his chest and again saw the huge angry bruise over his heart. She leaned forward slowly and placed a tender kiss on the wound then looked back up at him.
His heart did flip flops as she placed the kiss and he heard her whisper, “I would die for you too Marty.”
She picked up the bandage and fresh ice pack and began to slowly and carefully wrap it securely to him. His brain was having trouble sorting through his raging emotions and her conflicting signals. He continued to watch her and marvel at the softness of her hands and the way she was so careful not to hurt him.
When she finished, she backed away slightly and said, “I guess I should go.”
His disappointment was evident and he didn’t bother to try to hide it. He was tired but most of all, he was heartbroken.
She stood to go and he followed her to the door. As she opened it she turned to him and said softly, “Call me if you need anything, okay?”
He nodded and said, “I’ll be fine.”
As she was about to walk out he said, “Thanks Kens.”
She stepped back and smiled, “Just making sure you’re taking care of yourself.”
He tried to stop it from leaving his lips but it came unbidden. His heart overruled his head and it was so quiet she almost didn’t hear it.
“Please don’t go,” he said under his breath.
She turned back to him and closed the door, “What did you say?”
He wanted to kick himself for blurting it out but at the same time he wanted her to know he was sorry for not talking about their ‘thing’ before it was too late.
“I said, please don’t go.” His voice was only slightly louder the second time but he was sure she had heard him. He watched the emotions flit across her features and held his breath as he waited for her to respond.
“Why don’t you want me to go?” she asked as she took a step closer.
‘Now what? What could he tell her that wouldn’t ruin everything?’ He could joke and say that she shouldn’t bother with a first date when she knew there wouldn’t be a second but then he realized that maybe this wasn’t their first date. ‘What if this was the second or even the fifth? What if she was truly serious about this guy?’
The thought of her being involved with someone else caused him to do something he never would have done if he had been thinking rationally. The combination of pain killers and a broken heart caused all rational thought to disintegrate. If he had thought it through, he would have realized she couldn’t be involved with anyone yet. They spent a good deal of their spare time together and he would have known if she had been preoccupied with something. But the fear of truly losing her to another man motivated him to take a chance and resort to drastic measures.
He closed the gap between them and placed his hands on each side of her face. He lowered his head and gently brushed her lips with his. When she didn’t pull away, he kissed her tenderly, trying to show her exactly why he didn’t want her to go, without words.
He felt her return the kiss and he couldn’t help the feelings washing over him. Her lips were soft and sweet and his head was spinning. He couldn’t control his trembling limbs when he felt a shiver ripple through her.
He deepened the kiss and she responded by wrapping her arms around his neck. He paused long enough to take a breath then dipped his head and kissed her again. The feel of her in his arms and the intimacy of the kiss overwhelmed him. He reveled in the moment and never wanted it to end.
She was the one who eventually pulled back to look into his eyes. Her hand moved to his jaw as his arms moved to circle her back.
“What was that for?” she said breathlessly. “I mean, why did you do that… today?”
He reached up to cup her cheek and whispered, “I should have done it a long time ago. I don’t want you to go meet that guy… I don’t want to lose you Kens.”
He kissed her again, his heart was pounding wildly. Every dream he had ever had about kissing her hadn’t come close to the real thing. He pulled her close, ignoring the pain in his chest. It felt so perfect and so… right. He reluctantly pulled back and touched his forehead to hers.
“So, does this mean there really is a ‘thing’?” she asked grinning.
He smiled and brushed his fingers through her hair then said, “No, there is no ‘thing’. This is now officially a relationship.”
She leaned in and kissed him passionately and he felt as if he might melt right there. Mere words couldn’t describe the way she made him feel.
They held each other for several minutes and he finally asked, “So umm… Do you need to call someone? I mean I’m assuming you’re not… umm I mean I’m hoping you’re not… Please stay.”
She smiled and replied, “I cancelled my date on my way over here.”
“Really? Why?” he asked surprised.
“I’m not sure. I got in my car to go meet him and before I knew it I was almost here.”
His smile grew wider, “Must have been a second date?”
She replied, “No, it was a first. I didn’t really want to go but for some reason I said yes when he asked this morning at the coffee shop. I don’t really know why.”
He took her hand and led her to the couch. They sat down and he pulled her close. “It doesn’t matter why. All that matters is that you’re here now… with me.” He leaned in and placed a kiss to her forehead.
“And I won’t ever let you go.”

What Could Go Wrong?

Deeks adjusted his tie, the light reflecting off of the golden wedding band on his finger and he froze. Married. He smoothed the tie down and studied his finger with the golden band. He stepped out of wardrobe and waited tapping his foot a little impatiently. “Kensi, anytime today.”

“I’m sorry, do you have to shimmy your way into lycra?” she inquired from behind the curtain, she was in the opposite wardrobe change room to the one he’d come out of. She didn’t give him anytime to answer her question though. “No, you didn’t.”

He waited a few more minutes and the curtain was pushed open. Kensi stood in a black lycra dress that clung to every curve of her body. He figured most women would feel self-conscious in such a garment, if Kensi did, she didn’t show it. She looked confident, her chin raised just slightly, smoky eyes, bright red lips, her hair down in waves and curls, the scent of her perfume was exotic, intoxicating and rather distracting.

“About time,” he said with a bit of a smirk and to try and disguise the fact that he’d been staring. She rolled her dark eyes and walked past him to where the accessories were. “I have it,” he told her knowing exactly what it was she was looking for. She turned back to him in time to see him pull the gold band from his pocket and hold it up between his thumb and forefinger. “Do you Eden take-“

She quickly swiped it from him and put it onto her left ring finger. “You ready, Adam?”

“Of course,” Deeks replied. Married… for an undercover operation. It wasn’t the first time, and he doubted that it would be the last. Still, it was uncomfortable, it left him on edge. What feelings were his? Which were his alias? Which were Kensi and which were Eden? Or Melissa? Or whoever else she had been while sharing kisses with him.

Callen and Sam were doing the leg work, getting them the intelligence they would need. Eric and Nell were up in ops keeping everyone informed and sorting through files on the white supremist group Kensi and Deeks were tasked with infiltrating.

Deeks had a pretty bad feeling going into the entire mission. The group targeted couples, rich ones that shared their views and who could fund the purchases of guns and other supplies. This was why he was going in as an expensive defence attorney with some less than favourable views, and Kensi was a trust-fund baby with lots of daddy’s money. They targeted couples because they often used the woman as leverage, a ‘you’re late giving me money, maybe I’ll go beat on your girl for a while, make sure you remember’ kind of deal. He looked over at Kensi and his heart sped up a little. He couldn’t let anything happen to her.

She tossed him the keys to the grey Audi they’d been given to help sell the cover. His Chevy Malibu just didn’t make the cut. Kensi carefully got into the car, four inch shoes and a tiny little lycra dress wasn’t doing her any favours. She looked over and watched her partner for a minute, the grey suit looked dashing on him, despite the fact that she’d never say so. His hair had been trimmed and he’d even shaven for the cover. His blue eyes were narrowed on the keys in his hand, and his lips were in a tight line. She didn’t see him serious often and it worried her. “You good partner?”

Her voice broke him from his thoughts. “Yeah. Fine.”

::

They’d put on a show of looking at houses in the neighbourhood, choosing the one right next to the Mark Waterford, the leader of the white supremist group. Movers (all actually NCIS agents) had staged the place and kept their eyes on the neighbourhood passing on all intelligence to Eric and Nell. Deeks opened the door and Kensi was first in, Deeks close behind, shutting and locking the door.

Kensi let out a low whistle. “Impressive,” she said studying an intricate vase set up in the entrance way, curly willow branches sticking out with large orange and pink lilies. Everything was done up to the nines boasting a rich life. A knock on the door had them both jumping. “That was fast,” she whispered.

He raised an eyebrow slightly, and she nodded letting him know she was ready, he let out a breath and nodded back. He turned and opened the door to a lovely young blonde woman in a pink dress, Priscilla ‘Cilla’ Waterford, he knew her face from the files. Her husband, Mark Waterford the leader of the group stood beside her, a smile on his face. Looking at them it was hard to believe that they were responsible for the deaths of four marines, two were Asian, another African American and the latest kill had been a fourth generation American Israeli marine. The Waterford’s looked like they were straight from the fifties, her powder blue dress, his slicked back hair and Stepford-ish smile and looked more interested in home cooked meals than starting a race war.

“Welcome!” Cilla said excitedly, her bright blue eyes wide as she smiled. “It’s so nice to meet you both Adam, and Eden,” her eyes ran over Kensi. “Look at you,” there was a hint of jealousy in her voice that Deeks picked up and managed to keep the grin off his face, it wasn’t difficult because as jealous as Cilla was, Mark was interested his eyes glued on Kensi’s long legs.

Kensi stepped up, her heels clicking against the floor, she put an arm around Deeks’s waist and immediately his arm went around her shoulders. “Thank you for the welcome,” Deeks responded with a smile.

“Well, we should let you two get settled,” Cilla said, but she was looking at her husband who was still gawking at Kensi. “But we’d just love it if you joined us for dinner, it’ll be ready at seven.”

“We’d love to,” Kensi replied with a smile. “Should I bring anything?”

“Oh no, dear,” Cilla responded. “I have everything under control, you just bring your husband.”

“Okay,” Kensi replied as Cilla grabbed Mark’s arm and pulled looking a lot stronger and more fierce than the powder blue dress and Stepford smile suggested. “See you at seven,” she called waving at them as they walked along the pathway. She shut the door and stared out the frosted glass that distorted the image beyond. “That was weird.”

“Agreed,” Deeks replied worriedly. “Mark looks considerably more submissive than we once thought.”

“I’ll have Nell look further into Priscilla,” Kensi replied walking down the hall and away from him. Notes of her perfume still hung around and he breathed it in deeply. Sucker for punishment, he thought as he followed her catching the goodbye section of Kensi’s conversation with the intelligence analyst back at OPS.

He looked at the clock. “Two hours before dinner with the Waterford’s,” he muttered.

“I hope they serve pie,” Kensi noted as she sat down at the table.

“Seriously?” Deeks said sounding rather incredulous. “Pie? That is where your mind is?” They never really discussed how they worked, or dealt with things while undercover. They just… lived in the same house, slept in the same bed, but they never acknowledged their fears, or talked about how they worked undercover. Deeks had worked so long alone that it was still strange working with a partner even after a few years and a handful of ‘married couple’ covers.

“Cherry,” Kensi continued oblivious to how her careless words were effecting her partner. “I could really go for some cherry pie… Cilla seems like the type to serve apple though.”

Deeks shook his head, she was thinking about pie and he was just hoping that they could get through dinner, plant the bugs, and hopefully Mark wouldn’t be making eyes at Kensi all night. He was worried about how it would all play out, what could be expected of him. The race war the Waterford’s were starting made him feel ill, the images of the four dead marines that had been caught in the crossfire was tormenting, and Kensi seemed so unaffected. Then again, what was hidden behind her mask wasn’t to be found today. Today she was Eden and he doubted he’d get a glimpse of Kensi. He pulled a box from the cabinet and split up the small cameras and even smaller microphones they needed to plan inside of the Waterford’s home.

Kensi flipped through a magazine and he wondered if she was even reading it. Was she Kensi sitting there ignoring his worried gaze, or was it Eden? She let out a sigh and looked up at him, her dark eyes staring right into his blue ones. “It’ll be fine,” she assured. Kensi. She looked back down and absorbed herself into the magazine and Deeks let out a breath, some weight lifting from his shoulders as he continued to count out what they would need.

::

The meet and greet had gone over well, what they hadn’t been expecting was that the Waterford’s had many of the members of their group over. Deeks had caught sight of a tattoo under a man’s collar, a swastika. He took in a deep breath and forced it back out, he was Adam, Adam didn’t, couldn’t have any problems with anything that was going down in this house.

He caught sight of his partner across the room. Kensi stood out from the other women around her. He thanked the extra height of the heels, but the short black dress had the attention of the men in the room.

“I take it that lovely creature is with you,” Roy Green said, Deeks knew him from the pictures, from his three priors of armed robbery he was head on the suspect list for being involved in the murders.

“She is,” Deeks said darkly, his eyes narrowing. He didn’t want Roy Green anywhere around his wife… his partner.

Mark smiled as he came up. “Good to see you too getting along.” Deeks was only half listening, Kensi had excused herself from the group, she caught his eye and then she continued past him and he knew she was going to the second floor to plant some of the bugs. He looked for anyone following her. Eyes certainly, but no one started tailing her so he returned to his conservation with Mark.

::

Kensi looked over her shoulder and waited a beat. No one was following. She had studied the layout of the house extensively and went into the office first. She put a camera up behind the desk so they’d be able to see what he did on his computer, she took apart the bottom part of the phone and put a listening bug in before snapping the piece back in. She set the phone down carefully. She taped a microphone under his desk. She knew she had to move fast, but she went to the filing cabinet and retrieved her lock picks from her clutch and got to work, she quickly flipped through files, took pictures on her cell phone of ones she thought might help and locked it back up again.

She peeked out and continued down the hall, Granger wanted every room wired. She quickly tagged the bedroom, guest room and what appeared to be a crafting room before she went back down stairs. She looked around and found her partner in a deep conversation with Roy, Mark and another man from the files, Preston Stiles who they suspected was the extremist in the group, most likely to snap second in command to the far more eloquent Mark. Deeks appeared as if he were hanging off of every word, nodding his head every once in a while, but she knew from how he’d been behaving through out the day that this case was bothering him. She couldn’t blame him. The men here were just as creepy as the women.

“Dinner is served,” Cilla called out and everyone flooded into the large formal dining area. It was immediately noticeable the respect Cilla got from everyone, like she was the leader and not just the wife. Deeks and Kensi shared a wary look before they filed into the room last.

::

“Dinner was delicious,” Kensi said with a smile as she assisted with cleaning up.

“I’m glad you enjoyed it,” Cilla responded as the woman stayed in the kitchen cleaning up. “If you enjoyed dinner you’ll love desert,” she said with a grin. “Apple pie.”

“No way, my favourite,” Kensi lied enthusiastically as Deeks passed through the kitchen on his way out with the men that were swarming him. He managed to give her a little smile as he continued following the men.

“I think the boys have taken to Adam,” Cilla gushed.

Kensi knew case wise, she should be overjoyed. Covers were solid, they were making progress, she was forming a bond with Cilla and the other wives, and Deeks was being taken back into the living room with the men for more conversation, there was a good chance that he was getting valuable intelligence…. but as his partner… she was worried. “What are those boys talking about?”

All the women looked to one another and finally to Cilla.

“The cause,” the blonde woman said placing a hand on Kensi’s shoulder. “I see great things in Adam’s future.”

::

From months worth of surveillance Deeks knew that the men met at the Waterford’s every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Saturday’s the women came along and everyone had a big meal like they were some kind of twisted family. It was suspected that on the three days the men came over that there were meetings. “Right this way, Adam,” Mark said putting his arm around Deeks leading him into a large room, a long wooden table with chairs all around. The men seemed to know where they were sitting. Mark at the head, Roy and Preston to his right and left everyone else seemed to Deeks to file in at random, but he figured there was more to it than that. He took the last empty seat.

During his conversations with Mark, Roy and Preston he’d shown his hand; his dislike of immigrants and immigration policies, his suit and watch showed off his wealth. “I think you’ll fit right in,” Mark had said to him.

“I have a task for you,” Mark said. “To prove yourself, and your loyalties.”

“Of course,” Deeks replied his heart hammering in his chest.

::

“What kind of things?” Kensi inquired.

“No need to worry dear,” Cilla responded. “I knew right when you moved in that you and Adam were just what we needed to show just how serious we are.”

Kensi had an awful feeling. ‘You and Adam’ Cilla’s words kept replaying on a loop in her mind. They never used the women as anything more than leverage. Her thoughts derailed when all the women suddenly pulled out guns and pointed them at her.

::

Deeks turned to the door as he heard multiple sets of heels walking down the stairs. “The ladies joining us?” Deeks felt as if the men were walking around their demands, keeping everything smoke and mirrors. He wasn’t sure what to make of the women joining them… until the door opened and Kensi was first in. Her eyes sought his immediately and when the were found relief replaced panic. She took another step forward and she was followed in by Priscilla who had a small Beretta in her hand. All of the women filed in, their guns trained on Kensi. All the stood and pulled out larger guns than their female counterparts and pointed them at Deeks.

“Yes,” Cilla said to Kensi. “Two federal agents will show how serious we are.”

“You won’t get away with this,” Kensi said right before Cilla pistol whipped her and she fell in a heap.

“Kensi!” Deeks cried out breaking a cover already broken, he only made it two steps toward his fallen partner before he too was hit with a gun and it was lights out.

::

Deeks woke and immediately noticed was the ache in the back of his head, the ache in his neck and he lifted his head to relieve the tension. He tried to move his arms but they were tied to the pole behind him. He shifted uncomfortably and had a bad feeling that Hetty was going to skin him for the dirt and grime that was certainly on his trousers. The lighting was poor, but it was enough to make out that the space they were in was large, industrial looking, likely they’d been transported to some kind of warehouse. Across from him tied to another pole was Kensi who appeared unconscious still, her head hanging, her long hair obscuring her face.

He took another look around but didn’t see anyone guarding them. “Kensi,” he whispered as loudly as he dared, he pulled against the bindings, his fingers working trying to untie them, but it was a futile attempt. “Kensi!” He called out to her again not caring if anyone heard him.

She groaned and lifted her head just slightly. “Did I seriously just get pistol whipped by one of the Stepford Wives?”

“Yeah,” Deeks said. “And she didn’t even serve cherry pie.”

“Should have tipped us off,” Kensi bantered back as she tested her bindings.

Deeks found a bit of his sanity in the raillery. “How’s your head?”

“Fine,” Kensi replied dismissively. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Deeks blew out a breath. “How were we made?”

“I have no idea,” Kensi was frustrated about it too. It didn’t seem that it was anything they had done, they hadn’t made any mistakes. “A leak?”

They were quiet for a moment, both thinking. A pipe somewhere dripping. “I don’t know,” Deeks admitted. “But I’ve got to take a leak.”

“Really?” Kensi replied looking over at him. “This is not the time!”

“It’s not as if I don’t understand this is an inconvenient time to have to go!”

Deeks didn’t continue since the door opened and Roy walked in. The man was whistling as he walked up to Deeks and stared down at him. He said nothing before delivering a harsh kick to the ribs. The detective grit his teeth as the air left his lungs. “Not much of a man are you? Try to play it like you’re part of the cause?” Another swift blow.

“Stop!” Kensi yelled at Roy.

Roy turned and smiled. “You sure are pretty,” he crouched down before her and pushed back a stray curl, she responded by spitting in his face. He wiped his face, a looking enraged before he back handed her. “Pretty, but not to bright.”

“How did you know?” Deeks managed to get out once he had breath back in his lungs.

“That the two of you were federal agents?” Roy smiled. “With the right amount of money… you can find out anything.”

“Who was your contact?”

“Do I look stupid?”

“Do you really want me to answer that?” Deeks asked knowing he was pushing his luck. “My partner keeps telling me about ‘rhetorical’ questions, but I’m not sure if-“ The punch came on a downwards strike and hit him in the temple, the quick second hit his cheekbone and split skin.

“Leave him alone,” Kensi growled, her voice low and dangerous.

“Do you think I won’t hit a woman?” Roy asked her.

“I can take a punch better than you can. It’s why I’m tied up and you’re standing with your arms free. You couldn’t beat me if I was untied.”

Roy walked over to her, a slow dangerous kind of prowl that left Deeks with a pit in his stomach that was inconsistent with the blows. It came with knowing his partner was in trouble and further, the knowledge that he could do nothing to stop what was coming.

He crouched and pulled out a knife. Deeks stopped breathing. Kensi’s eyes held defiance as she stared at Roy. He moved around her and cut off the bindings. She was on her feet in an instant, a little unsteady, but she quickly regained her equilibrium and kicked off her shoes. Barefoot she felt the dirt and grime on the warehouse floor. The lighting cast eery shadows everywhere and served to make Roy look like a villain in a B movie.

She wasn’t too worried about the knife in the man’s hand. She practised her disarming moves often, soon, the knife would be her advantage. She didn’t dare look at her partner for fear he would distract her from what she needed to do. She circled with Roy waiting for her opportunity. He was impatient and lunged, she curved her back, grabbing his hand with both hers. She slid her fingers into place and quickly turned with her entire body forcing his hand open the knife clattering to the ground. She slammed the bottom of her foot into his shin and whirled around thrusting her palm into his throat. He staggered back gasping for air. She carefully placed her foot on the handle of the knife and slid it to her partner.

Roy charged her and took them both to the floor, he got one good punch to her face. He drew back for a second and she braced herself for the blow that never came. She opened her eyes, Deeks had the man’s arm and pulled him off of her. He followed it with a quick and high roundhouse kick she had been completely unaware that he had in his arsenal of moves, but with how flawlessly it was executed she knew it was well practised. Especially since Roy dropped like a stone to the floor.

They stood together looking at Roy for a second. “We need to get the heck out of here,” Deeks commented.

“Still have to pee?”

“You have no idea,” Deeks responded. “Those blows to the kidneys did not help the situation.”

She grabbed some of the rope that she’d been held with and tied up Roy’s wrists, she found a cell phone in his pocket and quickly called Callen.

“Yeah?”

“Callen? It’s-“

“Kensi! Are you okay? Is Deeks with you?”

“Yes and yes,” she answered his questions quickly. “Can Eric-“

“We’ve been tracking Roy’s phone, we’re making our way through the warehouse.”

“Nell must be rubbing off on you, finishing my sentences like that.”

“You two dropped off the map for three hours, I was worried. “Sue me,” he said worry and agitation mingling in his voice.

The door opened and Sam came in first lowering his weapon with a smile and a relieved laugh. “Married less than twenty-four hours and already trying to spice things up?”

“I’m going to ignore that,” Deeks said with a grin. The job rarely worked out the way they planned, but it in this instance it had derailed spectacularly.

“We’re clear,” Callen said finally coming in the room. He looked them over. “You two good?”

Deeks looked down at Kensi and she smiled up at him. “Yeah, we’re good.”

“Speak for yourself,” Deeks said. “I have to pee. I need a nurse.”

“You need a nurse to pee?” Callen and Sam quipped at the same time.

“Oh that’s just adorable,” Deeks mocked with a roll of his eyes. “I should upgrade the nurse request to a doctor once Hetty sees the state of this suit.”

“And you went and bled on the collar,” Kensi said worry pitching into her voice. “Must have pistol whipped you pretty hard.”

“Great, dirt, grime and bloodstains,” Deeks said with despair as he opened the side door and balmy LA air greeted him. “Hetty’s going to kill me.”

Kensi followed her partner outside just in time to see him unzip his trousers she quickly turned around. “DEEKS!”

“I told you I had to pee,” he said, laughter in his voice.